Week 21 of 52

Hong Kong Stopover

Z & P - You both remembered Disneyland from our Europe holiday 3 years ago so were very much looking forward to this trip.  A little bit of rain was not going to stop your excitement.  

10 hours of magical excitement . . . 

We did every ride at least twice and got to meet some of our favourite characters.  

Z you are like your father with your desire for adrenalin rushes, whereas P you were more cautious watching us all do a ride once first before deciding if you would join for the second.  Z & P you both laughed hysterically when some rides caused your Mama to say bad words!

Week 20 of 52

Wonju - South Korea

P - FAMILY - The biggest reason for this holiday was to see family .. .. .. you totally loved your cousins.  You loved shopping with your Aunty as much as she loved shopping with you!  A day spent visiting your cousins school and watching her perform followed by lunch and department store shopping where Aunty brought you high heels and lace top socks, was completed with traditional market shopping where Mama brought you the Korean costume you had been eyeing since Namwon.  My beautiful girl oh how I loved seeing you spend this quality time with your cousins.  This has been such a special time and I pray we all spend time together again very soon.

Z - At the Wonju Herb gardens you ran around enjoying the water.  Water has always been a source of entertainment for you.  Jumping over the stones to bring your Mama a flower .. .. .. You totally warmed my heart the way you spent time doing jig saw puzzles with your youngest cousin.  Just like your Uncle was the only boy amongst a sister and girl cousins, you too were the only boy.  

I have been in awe of you this trip, embracing the cuisine and trying foods that Mama wouldn't try (Kimchi), however, you did draw the line at silkworm pupae .. .. ..

At the airport you questioned if my tears were the same as P's when you were on school camp and she missed you.  Smiling I explained yes, however, school camp was one week and Mama's brother left NZ for South Korea 7 years ago honey.

Week 19 of 52

Korea 

Z - After an evening in Seoul we hopped onto the fast train to Namwon where we were met at the train station by Dongmin and his family.  How very exciting for us all to see each other again.  You loved our time with 'your Korean students' and threw yourself into the culture wholeheartedly.  I loved watching you take it all in and try all the new experiences.

P - You loved the tea drinking culture of Korea and the costumes . . . (more on that next week) . . . Both Mamas (NZ & Korea) loved watching our daughters interact where language was no barrier when it came to art.  

I love the way you both are embracing this experience.

Week 18 of 52

Z & P last week saw the Arahoe Mud Run actually happen . . . 

Our afternoons and evenings leading up to the event were spent testing obstacles, photo shoots for the newspapers and a whole lot of time spent at school.  You both loved it.  

It has been some very very busy weeks . . . We are all in need of our holiday next week!

Week 17 of 52

Z - What a complete turn around you have made with your homework this year.  And whats more you are loving all these 'old fashioned' books Mama pulls out.  This time it was an Atlas which delighted you as you studied Samoa.  

P - oh how you loved every moment of your Mama n Me weekend in Wellington, soaking up every magical moment of having your Mama all to yourself.  I loved the comical descriptive faces you pulled at the WETA studio/museum and how 'brave' you were on the aeroplane.  You really are a seasoned traveller!

Z&P - my beautiful children . . . I didn't honestly know how you would be with the funeral, but I was so very proud of you both.  P you held my hand throughout and even passed me tissues you'd brought along in your bag.  Z you continued with your 'factual' questions wanting to know where when why and now what.  I'm so glad we did this our way and guided you honestly through the process I feel you both have so much more of an understanding than I did at your ages.  

Week 16 of 52

Z & P .. .. .. After a week away at Grandmas we were all very happy to see each other again.  (Even if Mama did get your arrival date wrong and had to madly change plans to race to collect you from airport *ooppss please forgive me).  

You were both very happy you'd stayed at Grandmas the whole time and Grandma hadn't flown back because that meant everything was still alright in the adults worlds.  

The very next day changed and our loved family member passed away.

Z - so factual with the asking of your questions, where, when, how & what now

P - more emotional wanting to know if you should be sad and cry or if it really was as Mama said ok 

That evening you both asked to sleep with each other and I captured this photo of you both *love*

We've been open and honest with you, answering your questions along this journey from the beginning, and we will continue sharing with you, as this way is our way.

We love you both very much.

Week 15 of 52

Z- you and your sister have flown to Grandmas for the school holidays.  Mama and Grandpop had a big surprise for you when you hopped off the plane . . . A new to you gear bike with speeds!  Grandma and Grandpop say your smile was bigger than big.  You've been begging Mama and Dad for a gear bike, we keep telling you that gear bikes come when you turn 10, (especially with the price tag of the one you want)  this was our compromise . . . a gear bike to keep at Grandma and Grandpops

P - oh I am so proud of you for keeping the secret of the gear bike . . . what you didn't know was there was a new to you scooter to meet you on your arrival also.  You are both so blessed with a special Grandma and Grandpop.  Stealing these photos off Grandmas facebook page I love seeing you running around Grandmas back lawn with bubbles.  I have such fond memories of school holidays with my grandparents.  

Z and P - I hope your week with Grandma goes as we have planned, if not you will be flying home early with Grandma and Grandpop and I'll be glad they will be with you on that journey home.  These are uncertain days as we wait . . . 

Week 14 of 52

Z and P - on dying . . . 

I wish you weren't, we all weren't experiencing this . . . but we are and we are making the most of the precious times spent with family who are so very important and special to your Mama and to us all.  

 You don't complain about our car trips down to the Waikato, you've taken it in your stride that this is what we do.  You seem to understand Mamas sadness and silence on our way home.  Ipads and portable DVD's have become car trip saviours.  

On our recent trip to the Waikato we stopped for lunch at a park where Mama used to spend her school holidays playing with her cousins and her Poppa.  We had a lot of laughter.  It was a good happy hour in the midst of the reality as to why we were making this trip.

"Why does ... have to die"

"When will ... die"

"Do you still have cancer after you die"

"What is a pallbearer"

"I don't think ... wants to be alive anymore"

"Why did ... look so sad Mama"

I love you both so much and I hope I'm answering your questions as honestly as I can . . . 

Week 13 of 52

Z and P - Dinner and Movie night at our place with 11 other children.  I really enjoy this tradition of you and your friends all turning up in your pj's.  As all you children get older choosing the movie becomes more difficult to suit all ages.  The excitement is still there in the week leading up "who's house is it at this month"  "what movie is it"  

Dinner of bread rolls, sausages and salad went down a treat with you and your friends.  Dessert of a marshmallow easter egg went down even better.  Watching you both interact with this group of friends warms my Mama heart.  

Week 12 of 52

Z - you and R have been friends since birth and I love the way you both play so happily and peacefully together.  You think of her as your sister (if only you and your sister played this nicely).  It was so nice to catch up with R and her family after their recent trip home to India and you excitedly told her about your up coming trip to Korea.  I have adored watching you both grow up together.

P - as I have blogged previously, your sleeping antics keep us all amused and this latest one !! !! Cuddling your Uncle D's childhood snuggly toy under your pj's you told me in the morning all about the baby in your tummy.  With a few pregnant friends around us you are talking more and more about babies. 

Week 11 of 52

Z - You spent the week at school camp and this photo your teacher sent me shows the fun and experiences you, your classmates and your Dad had.  You came home, dirty, smelly and talking non stop of the adventures you'd had from Kayaking to Glow Worms to Hydro Slides to Confidence Courses and so much more.  You are already talking about next years camp.

P - Oh my gosh you missed your Daddy and big brother last week.  We had lots of fun just Mummy and Me including going out to a real restaurant on a girls dinner, but there was always the "I wish Z was here" OR "how many sleeps till Daddy comes home".  I was working when Daddy and Z came home but I heard you run run run up the hallway and knew from the footsteps that you'd leapt into your Daddy's arms.  

Week 10 of 52

Z - Bedtime stories with your Dad are a quiet relaxing time of the day.  You become so absorbed in the story, I just love sitting opposite the two of you listening and watching - observing.

You and your Dad are away this week on a week long school camp.  You have driven us mad in the lead up with your endless excitement questions and facts.  I just know this week will be so much fun for you both - Dad and son.  Tonight your sister cried herself to sleep, she misses you . . . 

P - HOW this can even be comfortable is beyond me.  Each night when I sneak in to check on you, your sleeping positions always crack me up . . . This was an exception HOW and WHY . . . ???

The thought of a Mama and me week, whilst your Dad and brother excited you so much, however, bedtime day 1 the tears started.  

Week 9 of 52

Z - this week marked an anniversary of an important milestone for me, for us . . . one day (maybe) you'll understand just how important you are to me, just how wanted you were and just how much I went through to hold you in my arms. 10 years ago I "graduated" from the recurrent miscarriage clinic, 14 weeks pregnant with you, my 8th pregnancy, my miracle baby! I'd lost count of the times I'd been told I'd never have a baby let alone carry to full term. I Love You so very much.

P - frustratingly so you are learning the life of a ballerina who broke her ankle.  We are so very fortunate to have an Osteopath as a family friend and an amazing ballet teacher, both watching over you when all you want to do is hop skip and jump.  Dance is your passion, your love, your joy.  I watched you have your achilles massaged and saw the pain in your eyes but not once did you complain.  Beautiful girl you will be dancing again with the others in your class enjoying the entire class not just portions sooner than soon. 

Week 8 of 52

Z- ever so studious you've taken this years homework in your stride and were quite impressed with Mamas thesaurus 'you know the book from the olden days before google'

P - Hot Hot Hot muggy weather does not bode well with a chest infection, we've had some rough nights with your asthma, however, when you are sleeping well you are sleeping so soundly.  Get better soon poppet.

Week 7 of 52

Snuggles with Mama

Week 6 of 52

We have just returned from our summer camping holiday

Miss P your bubbly smiling happy personality brings me so much joy .. .. .. you loved the freedom of having your moon boot off and being allowed to swim and play in the sand.  The occasional grumble when we needed to put it back on, however, you took it all in your stride knowing it is not long now and you can climb trees again.  You loved still being able to fit in your 'baby' camping bath  and as for camping with 11 other of your friends, for your social personality that was the absolute be all and end all.  

Mr Z .. .. .. my sweet sensitive boy, oh my heart aches for you and your sensitivity.  Whilst others say you need to toughen up and get over your hurt feelings, I understand the hurt and want to shelter you from it.  How can I expect you to learn at 9 years what I still struggle with at 40?  

You had such a great time camping with your friends, showing them 'your' spots at 'your' campground and relished in the freedom and trust we gave you to venture even further from our sights and ride the mountain bike trail with your friends.

Week 5 of 52

Miss P,  you lay so quietly and patiently on the grass on one of our recent Volcano trips waiting for the birds to eat from your hand - and oh my goodness your excitement when they did!  Priceless!  After lunch you played happily with your brother in the trees before admitting defeat that your leg was hot heavy and tired and hopping into the mountain buggy.  

Mr Z, this photo reminds me so much of a similar one I have of you when you were just 20 months old - except instead of the view being Auckland city like in this photo, it is in Monaco.  You are just loving our Volcano adventures and certainly loved the two we visited today.  And no sorry buddy you can not cardboard toboggan down the crater.

Both of you - thank you so much for your patience when Mama got lost driving Auckland to Hamilton - (yes it is a straight road and a main sign posted highway) - What should have been a 90 minute trip ended up being 3 hours, not once did you grizzle - thank you xxx