What Lifting Has Taught Me

The majority of my life I have battled with my brain to becoming skinnier, until the last few years I had never pushed to become stronger. The number on the scale was still seen as the ultimate goal.

Lifting has taught me a number of things and now I have more NSG (non scale goals) than scale goals

*  It’s taught me to not be so hard on myself

*  I’ve developed a deeper respect for how powerful, awe-inspiring, and enduring my female body truly is

*  On days when I’m unsure of myself, I remember how much stronger I am than my emotions

* Lifting taught me how to focus on my goals, visualize them, and then absolutely crush them

*  It’s taught me that I am a smart woman. I am a strong woman. I am a beautiful woman

Last week I finally reached a goal of dead lifting my body weight - I had been joking with my trainer if only I weighed less I would've achieved this goal a heck of a lot sooner ...

What I'm Learning

It has been an awfully long time since I have written ... And I've missed it.  Here, this space, has always been where I've shared my creativity, feelings and thoughts. 

Life is one big learning adventure and sometimes we have to do things over and over again

before we learn the lesson, I often say I like to learn my lessons practically ...

Currently I'm learning that as much as I want to learn/know/do all the things ...

sometimes I have to ask for and/or accept help.

This is one of the hardest ridiculously difficult things for me to do ... to actually say, 'I need you to help me because I can't do this/don't know how to do this' ...

Since the flooding and Mr B going to America for work ... I have phoned a man to come clean out our gutterings *tick job done* cleaned out one of the drains that was blocked before during and after the flooding *tick job done* dealt with the insurance company *tick job done* taken lawnmower to repair shop *tick job done* asked for and received help with checking my bike after it took a tumble off my car *tick job done* 

Rightly or Wrongly I was brought up in a world where clearly defined life skills/jobs were gender based and I believed I couldn't do things because either my father or my husband would do them ... Over the past years my beliefs/upbringing/societies norm have been challenged by myself, life and my frustration with whats currently happening in the world around me and how that could affect those I love ... 

All my *tick job done* jobs were achieved whilst wearing a little black dress, heels, and red lipstick - ye gods that motor mower was heavy to lift in and out of my car tho

... and this amongst other things I'm learning, is why this year I chose to further my studies and do more womens studies papers through university - I think I am the eternal learner/student/academic - 

I Feel Loved .. .. .. So So Loved .. .. ..

It's been an amazing birthday week ...

Surprised (to the best of their ability) with not one but two 'not' surprise surprise parties ... 

My friends and family made me feel so loved and appreciated.

Surround yourself with people who make you hungry for life, touch your heart, and nourish your soul.

Good times, crazy friends (or is it them that has the crazy friend?) and amazing memories of an incredible birthday week ...

Thank You 

And the very next day I achieved the challenge I had set myself ... 

Leg Press 200kg on my birthday week ...

I am thankful for my struggle (injury) because without it I wouldn't have stumbled across my strength - Physically and Mentally - 

I am strong

Life Lessons I've Learned Whilst Riding A Bike

I’ve been spending a significant amount of time on my bike lately, more so over the past two weeks. Not only is it good exercise, it is also a fantastic way of getting around and discovering the city I love.

When I'm on a bike, I forget so much. I forget about my troubles. I forget about my never ending To Do list. And even though I'm watching my speed and distance, I often forget about the time.

There's a lot going on in my head when I'm riding, so much to focus on, so much is happening throughout the ride, it's hard to let my mind wander to the less enchanting situations currently in my life (and believe me they are there)

There's clarity which comes from all that focus. It's like therapy:- therapy that gets me out of my car and out of the gym, therapy that gets me into nature, therapy that burns 600 calories an hour, therapy that gives me great looking legs.

Beyond cycling, I've learned a few other things, as well. 

• Eat at least an hour before the ride.
• To pedal through the top of a climb.
• I can push myself to be better than I was yesterday.
• Two ponytails are cute, but one ponytail stays out of your face.
• Cyclists are good people who will stop to help a stranger.
• How to say Hello to strangers (this is massive for me)
• One water bottle is not enough.
• I can always find a cafe on my ride

• Sometimes I can't see the wood for the trees but I just need to stay on track and keep going 
• Riding with a friend keeps me going ... “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go with a friend"
• Riding with a tracker (i.e. Strava) keeps me honest.
• When I ride, I'll experience pain in at least two places: my neck, and my butt ... I consider these valuable training for life ... In life I will come across people who will give me pains in both of these areas.

• Be aware of my surroundings ... whilst I can 'fly' over handlebars, I can't fly ... I am not Tigger ... I don't bounce well
• There are people who care about me, good people ... find them and trust they have my best interests at heart. They make life a lot better.

And the number one thing I've learned about riding a bike regularly.

• You forget how old you are when you're on a bike.

Despite the dangers, near misses, soaking clothes, ... the sense of freedom that comes with owning a bike never, ever leaves me. As the truer saying goes – “you’re only one bike ride away from a better mood”.

Rainy Days and Opportunities

Good friends will come out ~ Even on rainy days ~ If we need shelter

Today ~ This was our gym 

Judges Bay to Achilles Point 

Life is a climb ~ But the view is great

Last week there were days when I felt like a little girl standing on the edge, wondering if I was good enough.  Where I felt too fragile to bounce back yet again.

Today I stood on the edge with my beautiful friend by my side, breathless and laughing.

You can't be sad whilst riding a bicycle 

Riding in the rain ~ Exercise, therapy and a shower all at once 

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass ~ It's about learning to ride in the rain

17.3km mostly in torrential rain, mostly with me singing at the top of my lungs

Pure happiness ...

Taking Stock - December

Snuggling: Babies are just delicious

Celebrating: Surprise birthday celebrations for my Mr B

Loving: Friday Funday has become a bit of a theme around here

Friendships: Celebrating year end #friendswhotraintogether with my Boxing friends

Drinking: copious amounts 

Realising: just how much this group of humans has loved me supported me and pushed me this year

  

Cycling: Everywhere ...

Achieving: Another goal - lifting my body weight - gosh I'm 'heavy' 

Laughing: At Buddy The Elfs antics

Marvelling: We have another year of our 10 year olds belief

Giggling: at the 'naughty' antics and the innocence of children

Pondering: Am I your Aunty or your cousin or both .. .. .. 

Loving: this beautiful niece/cousin of mine

Deciding: you are never too old for face paint

 

Merry Christmas

Loving: Family

Feeling: The heat

Visiting: Swing Bridges 

Playing: water bombs

Watching: Grandparents and Grandchildren make memories

Buying: Icecream in the heat

Adventuring: In a microlight - my fearless girl

Feeling: apprehensive _but_ 

Loving: her smile

Enjoying:  My first ever 'big girl' live band concert

Listening: To Six 60 at the Riwaka Hotel

Smelling: 'Devils Lettuce' thick in the air 

Strong

It came as a bit of a shock to me recently --- I realised I was okay.

I am actually okay. 

For the first time in as long as I can remember - I have clarity, peace and calm 

My thoughts and feelings aren’t overly overshadowed by one specific emotion or event. 

I’m living and I’m doing fine. Better than that, I feel - strong - !

Yes I still have massive anxiety attacks which sneak up on me more often than I would like, but even they aren't such a big deal now I've learnt to knit my way through them ...  I've learnt how to deal with anxiety and depression, how to reach out and ask for help.

I’m talking inner, emotional, I can deal with life right now - STRONG - 

It’s probably a bit sad this came as a 'shock' but as I look back, I’ve been through the wringer ...

I am still grieving for the family member I lost last year and I will always and forever.  I doubt I will ever let them go. But I’ve reached a point where my grief no longer controls me.  Christmas was hard, very hard.  When someone has been part of your life, all your life ... But the things is, I’m able to swallow the tears now - most of the time.

Life comes and goes in seasons. 

I hope I’m approaching a season of ‘normal’ life. Whatever that is?! 

Something more settled perhaps? 

Yes I will still face challenges. Nobody ever said life was easy. But I feel more well-equipped emotionally to deal with things at the moment, without spiralling into stress with every little thing. I’ve got this.  

I will say, to anyone reading this who is facing tough times please hang in there. 

Please know it will get better. 

This is the first time in Five (5) years I can ever say I feel strong and calm. 

There is always light at the end of the tunnel, always hope, always a way through.

Biking MORE Bridges

A weekend away, out of town ... childfree *bliss*

Before checking into our hotel a bike ride 'around' the Mountain and along the beach broad-walk, finishing with coffee at a local cafe. (because doesn't everyone take their bikes away on holiday?)

The following morning a lazy sleep in sipping on coffee brought to me in bed ... 

One simple positive thought in the morning can make such a different to the day ahead.  

There is always a reason to smile, find it early and enjoy it all day ... and that was our plan 

  ... the Hauraki Bike Path ... 

"lets do them all" he said *gasp* 

Railway Tunnel Loop ... with prescription sunglasses on and no lights on my bike ... look for the light at the end of the tunnel he said ... fek off I said laughing ~ all I can think of is the possibility of an on coming train 

Another bridge and more gorgeous scenery 

Happy Birthday Mr B ...

I'd love to come back with the kids and maybe some bike lights and torches AND I can tick off two more bridges and a tunnel ... Including a swing bridge!