Strong

It came as a bit of a shock to me recently --- I realised I was okay.

I am actually okay. 

For the first time in as long as I can remember - I have clarity, peace and calm 

My thoughts and feelings aren’t overly overshadowed by one specific emotion or event. 

I’m living and I’m doing fine. Better than that, I feel - strong - !

Yes I still have massive anxiety attacks which sneak up on me more often than I would like, but even they aren't such a big deal now I've learnt to knit my way through them ...  I've learnt how to deal with anxiety and depression, how to reach out and ask for help.

I’m talking inner, emotional, I can deal with life right now - STRONG - 

It’s probably a bit sad this came as a 'shock' but as I look back, I’ve been through the wringer ...

I am still grieving for the family member I lost last year and I will always and forever.  I doubt I will ever let them go. But I’ve reached a point where my grief no longer controls me.  Christmas was hard, very hard.  When someone has been part of your life, all your life ... But the things is, I’m able to swallow the tears now - most of the time.

Life comes and goes in seasons. 

I hope I’m approaching a season of ‘normal’ life. Whatever that is?! 

Something more settled perhaps? 

Yes I will still face challenges. Nobody ever said life was easy. But I feel more well-equipped emotionally to deal with things at the moment, without spiralling into stress with every little thing. I’ve got this.  

I will say, to anyone reading this who is facing tough times please hang in there. 

Please know it will get better. 

This is the first time in Five (5) years I can ever say I feel strong and calm. 

There is always light at the end of the tunnel, always hope, always a way through.