Yesterday ...

Yesterday I had an appointment . . . I was grateful for best case scenarios and honesty in conversation.

Yesterday I was grateful for patience, kindness and humility.

Yesterday as the all too familiar deep dull "I've been aggravated" ache set in to my body I packed up our bikes and met up with friends.

Yesterday we rode our bikes along the pipeline . . . We haven't been back here together since that day.

Yesterday he reminded me of the last time we were here and Mama fell down.

Yesterday my boy and I rode our bikes alongside these two wonderful women and his friend as they ran. 

Yesterday I was grateful we have found a way to continue to be #friendswhotraintogetherconquertheworldtogether

Yesterday I listened to a podcast on friendship . . . Yesterday my friends and I discussed friendship.

Yesterday I was grateful for courage and honesty, shared laughter and understanding, and the privilege of their friendship. 

Yesterday as I sat at the sewing machine for the first time since April, I missed someone, and it broke my heart he is no longer here, I can no longer call to tell him how much I love him, or hear his laughter, or ask his advice; but I am grateful I have known him, and will never forget him.

Yesterday I came home to the news I will be attending another funeral, (my 8th this year) . . . another limb from our family tree. I was grateful for the timing coinciding with my Mothers visit and that we can be there for each other. 

Yesterday my heart broke, and I am glad; it broke when I was happy, and it broke when I was sad. 

I know I appreciate joy more because of pain, that I would rather feel it in entirety, than numb it out and not feel at all, and tomorrow I’m sure it will break again, and I am grateful.

Someday everything will all make sense, for now I laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding myself everything happens for a reason.