Monday March 13th

Today I am grateful for fruit trees full of seasonal fruit to make my breakfast

Apples and Figs both homegrown

And a new smoothie recipe book to experiment with  

and for perfect timing ... we were literally able to throw things ruined from the floods into the jumbo bin/skip which was already on our driveway
So very grateful the driver of the truck (maybe it was his first day) didn't take out the peach tree as he removed the skip off our driveway 

For sun, I am so grateful to the sun shining days which have followed and allowed us to dry furniture sodden to the bone 

And definitely grateful for pretties hanging on my clothes line 

The flash flooding that hit New Lynn, Auckland ... these streets and shops are a 10 minute walk from my home ... the path the flood took started at the bottom of our street 

Sunday Shawl ...

I'm utterly convinced I sent my crochet teacher to the bottle all those years ago ... However, after my latest finish my then crochet teacher who is my now good friend advises me she always knew I had it in me once I applied myself.

I began following The Little Bee (Alia Bland) on Instagram after seeing so many beautiful renditions of her Sunday Shawl pattern there. 

After purchasing the pattern I went wool shopping in the city with my friend Janet where we decided on a 4ply rather than 8ply because 'really' it doesn't get _that_ cold in Auckland AND I am only 5ft tall so don't really need a shawl down to my knees ...  

The colour guideline I gave Janet (and myself) was 'think Cath Kidston' ...

This was my Australia project where I hooked on the flight between Auckland and Perth and back to Auckland again .. .. ..

It was my Glandular Fever giving me a kick in the arse reminder to slow down project where I spent a couple of days in bed hooking .. .. ..

And it was my I AM going to complete a project towards working on my PHD project .. .. .. 

I love the colours, I love the pattern and I love that I finished something!

 I call that a win win. 

Working On Completing My PHD . . . (projects half done)

It would seem I am notorious for starting up a multitude of craft projects and never finishing them, mostly because I either lose interest, life interferes, something better comes along or all of the above. 

I was reminded of this over the weekend when Deb came to stay and turned a pile of my unfinished quilt blocks and embroideries into wee zippered pouches.  One said embroidery I started and finished BEFORE I had the children and it had sat in my PHD basket since then . . . 

There are the sewing projects, with the pieces cut out, ready to go, which have never seen the light of my sewing machine:- Hobo Quilts a project started before Mr Z started school, stuffed Easter bunnies from 3 Easters ago and of course, I'm failing to mention the myriad of crochet, knitting and embroidery projects I have started and are patiently waiting completion.

I have made a resolution with myself, I must finish at least one PHD before embarking on a new one ... and ... I have the golden carrot of a new project dangling out there to help keep me motivated.

Work In Progress - Summer Blanket

A blanket started *ahem* last summer ... 

Progress is being made albeit slowly 

Should be finished by next summer

And That Was April

Marvelling: At home grown goodness - from garden to plate 

Knowing: I need to replant more carrot seeds and tend to my garden 

Wishing: There were more hours in the day to achieve everything I want to

Thinking: How when I was so sick last year this amazing Mama simply told me to put my kids on a plane and send them to her!  

Liking:  Being in Wellington on a Mama and me weekend.  Liking staying with bloggy friends who have become IRL friends who have become family friends.  Catching up with lovely Wellington bloggy friends.

Feeling: That this is what blogging is all about - connections.  

Wanting: to find my blogging mojo again and not to be scared to write.

Needing: To grieve - To show emotion

Deciding: Death is nothing we can expect (even when we were expecting it) or imagine (until we are experiencing it) and 'hiding/suppressing' our grief in the public eye was not the right way for me 

Buying: Coffee

Drinking : Coffee

Smoothie and morning coffee

Coffee at the gym 

Coffee at the airport

Coffee after the gym

Coffee whilst event planning

Coffee sitting outside listening to the rain

Making : my summer crochet blanket - (that I started last summer)

Reading: Text books Text books oh and Text books - Medieval Europe so much easier on the heart mind and soul than Gender Violence

Watching: Netflix . . . loving it . . . Upstairs Downstairs 

Wearing: A timing chip on my shoes for my 2nd 1/2 marathon training race

Noticing: How other peoples comments still affect my heart

Getting: Fitter and Healthier 

Looking: At paper piecing 

Pondering: Life and Death 

Hoping: I find my paper piecing knack as I have a giraffe to make 

Playing: On the swings before my Boxing Bootcamp

Giggling: Like a child

Feeling: Free ... Flying through the air

Considering: Doing this more often - it frees the mind

Enjoying: Exercise !  I love it ! 

I'm fit and healthy and I get to hang out and exercise with amazing friends all in the name of exercise.

Loving: Exercise

Waiting: for a bus .. .. .. wall sits!  honestly who's idea was that?

Wondering: Why people never commented on my weight 18 kilos ago but yet they feel compelled to now I've lost it?  hmmmmmm

And that was March

Looking: At all the lovely handmade'ness around our home

Deciding: Handmade is pretty and comforting and colourful and . . .

Wondering: if our children will take up any of our hobbies

Thinking: about the women who taught me to sew, knit, crochet, cook, bake, preserve

Buying: clothes clothes and more clothes, NOTHING fits anymore

Wearing: a size 10 again

Smelling: his aftershave

Thanking: our out of town visitor who babysat so we could enjoy a night out with out of town friends 

Loving: a girlie week, just me and my girl

Watching: her write a postcard to Grandma

Hoping: her innocence lasts forever

Marvelling: at how my Tsunami has blossomed into such a lovely wee girl

Following: the school camp blog

Feeling: proud of my boy pushing his comfort zones

Missing: my boy and man . . .

Knowing: this week spent together is oh so good for them both 

Cooking : Beautiful nourishing soul fulfilling clean food LOVE 

Drinking : Coffee always coffee - I really did try to give up

Opening: Dr Libby's cook books and book marking 

Bookmarking: Raw caramel slice OMG so good 

Giggling: with friends, friendship is so gloriously good

Playing: at the Holi Colour festival

Thinking: How wonderful it was Lara came to Auckland - Lara took BOTH my kids last year when I had glandular fever.  She took time off work and loved my kids like her own.  Blessed beyond measure.

Knowing: Friends who you can pick up with like you last saw each other yesterday are special friendships

Celebrating: Friendship

Reading: ick ick ick

Pondering: ick ick ick

Writing: ick ick ick

Wanting: this paper to be over

Getting: A+ despite my despise for the subject matter

Making : Crochet Boot Toppers 

Enjoying: Some down time crafting again

Wishing: it didn't take a slipped disc to slow me down

Loving: my physio and new PT for having me and my health at the centre of their minds

If you want a list you can get it from Pip at Meet Me At Mike's too!  

Taking Stock

Making : Breakfast in bed for Daddy
Cooking : Homemade toast with homemade (by Grandpop) Peanut Butter

Drinking : Coffee and freshly squeezed orange juice 

Feeling: the temperature drop

Noticing: hail/ice that hasn't melted - that one time is was "Auckland Cold"

Wanting: to build a snowman

Reading: The Nicomachean Ethics

Enjoying: the peace and quiet

Looking: at my beautiful tea pot, milk jug and cup & saucer, gifts to me

Playing: catch up on my studies  

Deciding: The Classical Era was not a good time to be a woman or a slave

Wondering: when our views on certain topics changed

Needing: Coffee

Loving: Cuddles from a wee man who sleep walked from the bedroom to his Mamas lap, curled up and continued sleeping - awwwwww

Watching: him sleep and frown

Hoping: I'm getting this right, some days and some questions are so hard

Waiting: We do A LOT of waiting here .. .. ..  A LOT 
Learning: patience 

Pondering: Why isn't there a "I hate coming here" "This place now gives me panic attacks" button 

Knowing: One day we will look back and smile on these days 

Wearing: His new onsie

Contemplating: Spots and Dots and Lego

Buying: Tend Magazine

Bookmarking: "Mothers Matter" - Finding Value in Motherhood in a Society that Devalues Family 

Getting: a lot of crafts done for the upcoming School Fair

Admiring:  Flowers from my garden

Smelling: Scented Yankee candles

Liking: Lemon cupcakes

Thinking: how fortunate we are

Wishing: for health 

If you want a list you can get it from Pip at Meet Me At Mike's too!  

Strength and Courage

The last three days have been a blur of hospitals and waiting 

We've met with the surgical team 

They decided none of the medication my Mr B has been on has been working and the pain relief isn't really working. 

Hiatus Hernia or maybe something else is going on?

They didn't really know . . .

They decided a CT Scan was in need

Admitting my Mr B at 7.30am the next day was the quickest way to get things moving.

Waiting around in hospitals is a good time to study 

Waiting around in hospitals is a good time to crochet

Finally at 11.30am they called my Mr B for his CT Scan 

We waited for the results

We waited for the surgical team

And then it was time for me to come home and get Tsunami and Philosopher from school

Emotional Juggling

Torn between wanting to be with my Mr B and needing to be with our children 

Two different loves ~ Two different wants and needs 

Arriving home from the hospital last night with two tired and confused children I found dinner and baking on the front door step from a neighbour who's seen the ambulances and had noticed my Mr B's car has been home for 2 days. 

As day 2 of 'nil by mouth' comes around I hope it will will bring us closer to decisions, answers and/or solutions.  

***

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

Lao Tzu